I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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