And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
