I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
