let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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