Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
