girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
