Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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