Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
