I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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