escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
