RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
