Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.

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  (919): Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class. http://tfl.nu/qnhj
  Replies (15) Good night (894) Bad night (545)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.

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  (601): I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water. http://tfl.nu/8w2r
  Replies (42) Good night (4918) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
  Replies (32) Good night (6372) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else

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  (630): I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else http://tfl.nu/09lv
  Replies (13) Good night (4184) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care

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  (631): the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care http://tfl.nu/lqt5
  Replies (7) Good night (3796) Bad night (1118)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.

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  (508): NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY. http://tfl.nu/zzc9
  Replies (6) Good night (3021) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.

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  (510): I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper. http://tfl.nu/fogv
  Replies (6) Good night (1570) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (3000) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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  (636): Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me. http://tfl.nu/3e5v
  Replies (9) Good night (1550) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?

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  (321): What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire? http://tfl.nu/hf7l
  Replies (14) Good night (1711) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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  (603): Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night http://tfl.nu/dak1
  Replies (9) Good night (1665) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now

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  (401): I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now http://tfl.nu/a0kr
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?

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  (308): So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/8n8l
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

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  (302): Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate http://tfl.nu/9c8c
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.

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  (210): And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses. http://tfl.nu/edcx
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (308)

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