Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's

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  (989): Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's http://tfl.nu/0ar1
  Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (519)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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  (978): I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b. http://tfl.nu/o2b7
  Replies (33) Good night (2446) Bad night (1481)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space

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  (703): I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space http://tfl.nu/29mq
  Replies (27) Good night (4681) Bad night (595)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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  (314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6
  Replies (12) Good night (1868) Bad night (3072)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

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  (954): I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!" http://tfl.nu/l7rl
  Replies (19) Good night (4473) Bad night (2047)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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  (770): Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay. http://tfl.nu/tpqf
  Replies (25) Good night (6039) Bad night (793)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.

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  (709): I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April. http://tfl.nu/hy0p
  Replies (5) Good night (1485) Bad night (978)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Your cock is gonna weep like a baby

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  (407): Your cock is gonna weep like a baby http://tfl.nu/ae0t
  Replies (13) Good night (1721) Bad night (656)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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  (647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv
  Replies (9) Good night (1454) Bad night (486)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.

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  (573): Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex. http://tfl.nu/smrh
  Replies (13) Good night (1679) Bad night (652)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis

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  (306): I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis http://tfl.nu/jni6
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (335)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.

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  (775): I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot. http://tfl.nu/46g7
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (300)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine

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  (720): Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine http://tfl.nu/xw9t
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.

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  (414): Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual. http://tfl.nu/8kpf
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast

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  (302): I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast http://tfl.nu/oogo
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (211)

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