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• (716): View more from New York

  I can text with my tongue

  Fav 23 3570 919

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

  Fav 13 6147 2497

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I am not getting you a goat.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  If you insist

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.

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• (631): View more from New York

  lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.

  (631): View more from New York

  i think i have dick pic PTSD.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you

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