Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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  (504): Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks http://tfl.nu/9to0
  Replies (11) Good night (5330) Bad night (1943)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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  (224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u
  Replies (4) Good night (5008) Bad night (1113)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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  (970): Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone? http://tfl.nu/jm19
  Replies (4) Good night (2529) Bad night (1209)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.

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  (703): Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea. http://tfl.nu/zyyz
  Replies (17) Good night (894) Bad night (3316)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

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  (978): im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid http://tfl.nu/59ax
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (2077)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle

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  (267): my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle http://tfl.nu/n0zg
  Replies (14) Good night (4924) Bad night (629)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.

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  (780): Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis. http://tfl.nu/lqrq
  Replies (8) Good night (2364) Bad night (698)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

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  (772): She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times. http://tfl.nu/p3ry
  Replies (5) Good night (1695) Bad night (640)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.

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  (919): If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier. http://tfl.nu/u3me
  Replies (10) Good night (944) Bad night (523)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.

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  (970): Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family. http://tfl.nu/xde2
  Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (458)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.

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  (540): Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/qwkw
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (317)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.

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  (203): Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic. http://tfl.nu/bb52
  Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (483)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep

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  (425): So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep http://tfl.nu/ykqe
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (235)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives

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  (919): Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives http://tfl.nu/v851
  Replies (3) Good night (188) Bad night (453)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.

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  (306): but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal. http://tfl.nu/so21
  Replies (6) Good night (699) Bad night (268)

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