dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
