I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
