PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
