So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
