I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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