I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
