Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
