My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
