i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize