You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
