Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
