I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
