I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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