That's intense
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
