and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize