Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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