Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
