we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
