Tell her she can't have a vagina
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
