i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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