Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize