I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
