Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
