Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
