What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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