her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
