I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
