so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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