this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
