I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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