how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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