I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize