Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
