Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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