The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
