well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
