His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
