I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
