Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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