sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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