Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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