You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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