it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
