No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
