we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
